STOP feeling guilty, Mumsy

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Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? Am I a good-enough

Am I doing enough? Am I a good-enough

Am I a good-enough mum? Or, wait, am I a good mum?

Let me start off by saying the obvious – being a mom is the toughest and the most rewarding job ever! I repeat, e.v.e.r. It doesn’t matter if you are a new mom or an experienced mom, or a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. The categories don’t matter, it is just one of the toughest jobs you will ever do but it is one of the most rewarding at the same time. It sounds pretty cliché but if you are a parent, you know every single part of that is true as true can be. Right? From the things we do to the things we don’t, its all a big mess – a chaotic one at that. I am not trying to demonize motherhood or glorify the challenges here, I am just being candid about how it feels on some days and this post is about “those days”. I don’t want to tell you how to deal with it because honestly, I have no idea. I don’t know your life. I don’t know the things you have going on right now. My simple policy is that if you got through today, without breaking down, YOU ma’am, are my hero! As simple as that.

What I do want to do is to tell you, ‘stop feeling guilty’ and ‘stop feeling sorry for yourself’.

I won’t get into the details of how or what, and why but I feel like once in a while, every mom goes on a guilt trip, a.k.a mom guilt. Here are some things that happen once-in-awhile (or may be often) you should stop feeling guilty about:

1. Getting some ‘me-time’ or ‘alone time’

2. Not “bouncing back” soon enough

3. Going back to work

4. Not being able to work out 

5. Wearing makeup

6. Dressing up

7. Eating

8. Having a drink or two

9. Snoozing that alarm

10. Not having a to-do list

11. Over-clipping your baby’s nails sometimes by mistake

12. Not spending too much time with your kids

13. Feeding store-bought baby food instead of making your own

14. Going out with friends or having a social life

15. Reconnecting with yourself and not just being a mom, all the time

Sometimes, things happen. You’ve got to give yourself a break. You need to know and believe that You are not alone. You are doing the best you can. I know its easy said than done but trust this fellow-mumsy of yours, I have been there, each of the above guilt-trips fully lived and experienced. I learned that if I don’t take care of myself first, I will not be able to take care of my son at all. I wont be good company and that’s the last thing I want. End of the day, it comes down to if we (not just he, I mean, all of us, as a family) had a good day or not – how much I made him laugh, how he enjoyed my company, how happy he is, how independent and strong he is getting, and the rest is figureout-ble.


Mumsy Pooja

[This is not a sponsored post. This is not the “right” way either. The above content is driven solely from personal experience. For any questions or concerns, write @ writetomumsy@gmail.com] 


Top FREE Apps for Mumsies


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Quick-fix kit for Mumsy

They say ‘taking care of yourself is a part of taking care of your kids’ but given the race against time it seems nearly impossible to do so. One common theme I found across all moms is the lack of time for self-care. Of course, there is that constant state of being tired and those “I just can’t” kind of days too. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, you must’ve had those kinds of days. Here is my quick “rescue-kit” I’d like to share with you that helped me feel good at times when I had least energy to do anything for myself at all.


1. Concealer

This had to be my no.1 rescue item. I have struggled with skin problems most of my life. They only got unpredictable post-pregnancy. A concealer was my magic wand when I needed to look and feel fresh. I would try natural remedies whenever I had the time but for a quick-fix when I had to step out to run an errand, dabbing some concealer did a good job.

2.  Dry Shampoo

Washing my hair frequently is not just a luxury but an exhausting task for someone with long thick hair like me. An application of dry shampoo cleaned my hair, refreshed them, gave them a little bounce and made me feel good- all without water and lather and all the trouble of hair-drying.

3. Deodorant/ Antiperspirant

I like to smell fresh and good. You don’t want to smell like milk or baby food, or a sock. I don’t know what to say.

4. A comfortable Bra

Oh, so important! It’s not just physically appealing but also mentally comforting. If you know what I mean?

5. A pair of black leggings

Black leggings are the new LBD if you are out of time or tired to wax or shave. They go with everything – a dressy top to an oversized t-shirt.

6. Protein bars

I learned this the hard way while I was breastfeeding and going out at the same time skipping meals. Now, I have my favorite energy bars everywhere – from my table top to my car’s dashboard.

7. Caffeine

If you are not breastfeeding anymore and you have a toddler to a teenager to watch, caffeine (any form) is your day-time magic survival juice.

8. 100% Cotton Yoga Pants

A woman’s most favorite thing to wear – all day, every day.

9. Hair ties

Also, ‘I don’t run out of hair ties’, said no girl, ever.

10. Happy songs

I made a list of songs that make me happy for my PPD kit (exclusive post coming out soon). I have a copy of them on most of my devices. I play them on when I know I am about to lose my shit.

Well, a combination of these items or all of these items makes for a good quick-fix mom kit for looking and feeling good. Not perfect, just good and perhaps happy.  If you believe you don’t need it, more power to you.

What do you have in your quick-fix mum kit?

[This is not a sponsored post. This is not the “right” way either. The above content is driven solely from personal experience. For any questions or concerns, write @ writetomumsy@gmail.com] 


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Motherhood induced chillness

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that planning and I have a complicated relationship. I like order but along with the beautiful perks of motherhood came this ultra-thin patience level. When we got Happy, our 2-year-old puppy-son, both my husband and I discovered this brand new sense of patience. We liked it. He made us calmer and we had this ‘so what?’ attitude to most things. They said it will only get better after a child. Nope! It didn’t. I think we got a different version of it all. We are calmer, as we were when Happy came into our lives but with our baby, we’ve learned to choose our battles. If it’s not affecting our day, then we will hardly bother about it but if it is affecting our immediate circumstances, then, boy o boy! As you can see, the status of my relationship with planning, order, and patience is complicated.  Continue reading